Trump’s War on California’s Brain Cells: Cutting Funds, Not the Crap

BREAKING: Trump Declares War on Science, Students, and States That Don’t Worship Him

Just when you thought Trump couldn’t be any more petty, vindictive, or allergic to intelligence, he’s reportedly preparing to cut off federal grant funding for the University of California and California State University systems.

Why? Because California won’t kiss the ring. Because a transgender athlete dared to exist. Because wildfire victims didn’t rake their forests correctly. Because Gavin Newsom’s hair offends him. Pick your reason—they’re all equally unhinged.

You read that right: the Trump administration is actively telling agencies to identify which grants they can rip away from California, potentially gutting funding for some of the most respected universities and research institutions in the world.

Let’s be real—this isn’t policy. This is revenge cosplay with a federal budget.

Trump vs. Education: A Beef as Deep as His Vocabulary

Trump has always had it out for California—probably because we have earthquakes, drag queens, solar panels, and… standards.

Now, he’s aiming his rusty political hacksaw at our public universities over (wait for it) alleged antisemitism, something both the UC and CSU systems have been working to address in good faith. Funny how this same concern didn’t apply to Trump hosting actual white supremacists at Mar-a-Lago or calling neo-Nazis in Charlottesville “very fine people.” But sure, let’s pretend this is about hate and not power.

The State of Innovation… Until Trump Pulls the Plug

The UC system is California’s third-largest employer and an engine for everything from cancer research to climate science—two things Trump seems intent on denying exist. We’re talking about billions of dollars in biotechnology, medicine, space research, and, yes, even military technology—because nothing says “Make America Great Again” like sabotaging the country’s own innovation sector out of spite.

So what’s next? Will he bulldoze Silicon Valley to build a golf course? Ban avocados? Nuke NPR?

“See You in Court” Is California’s Love Language

Thankfully, California isn’t new to this rodeo. Our Attorney General Rob Bonta is already likely sharpening his legal briefs. Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren called Trump a “bully” (understatement of the millennium), and Nancy Pelosi is basically revving the litigation engine as we speak.

Also, small reminder: California’s budget already includes $25 million to fight Trump’s policies, and we’ve barely tapped it. That’s right—our state budget has a petty cash drawer for Trump lawsuits.

In Conclusion: When a Narcissist Fears Knowledge, Everyone Loses

Trump going after education makes perfect sense—for him. Why fund institutions that create scientists, journalists, and lawyers when you can fund grifters, golf carts, and grievance rallies?

If Trump gets his way, our universities may be forced to replace research labs with “thoughts and prayers” stations and turn Nobel Prize winners into adjuncts teaching “Flat Earth 101.”

But don’t worry, Donnie. Even if you gut our grants, California will still outthink, outvote, and outlast you.

And we’ll do it with solar power, gender studies degrees, and a middle finger in every language.