Trump Threatens to Sue ABC Over Jimmy Kimmel’s Return — Because Comedy Is Illegal Now

Opening Hook

Donald Trump has finally found the real threat to America: late-night comedy. Forget inflation, wars, or climate disasters — apparently the biggest danger to our Republic is Jimmy Kimmel’s smug monologues and dad jokes.

Yes, Trump is threatening to sue ABC because they let Kimmel back on air. His legal theory? That allowing a comedian to exist on television is basically an illegal campaign contribution to the Democrats. That’s right — laughing at him is now election interference.

The Absurd Legal Spin

According to Trump, reinstating Kimmel is tantamount to “election meddling.” Which makes sense only if you think punchlines are political weapons and sarcasm counts as Super PAC spending. By this logic, every open mic night is now a violation of federal law.

It’s not the first time he’s played hall monitor for comedy either — we’ve already seen how Trump tried to play FCC Joke Police by using broadcast regulators to intimidate networks. Apparently, the Constitution guarantees free speech… unless you make fun of his spray tan.

Revenge Politics Meets Bad Stand-Up

Trump even bragged that the last time he went after ABC, they paid him $16 million in a settlement. He basically treats lawsuits like a Patreon tier: for $16 million, you too can silence your least favorite late-night host.

This isn’t about law — it’s about revenge. He wants to scare networks into thinking twice before letting anyone crack a joke at his expense. And in true authoritarian fashion, he’s using the FCC’s looming power over broadcast licenses as his muscle.

Free Speech, Trump-Style

Remember when Trump whined about being “silenced” on Twitter? Fast-forward, and now he’s trying to silence Kimmel on network TV. Free speech is only free if you’re flattering him. Otherwise, it’s “defamation” or “illegal electioneering.”

Sound familiar? It should. This is the same guy who tried to muzzle the New York Times while screaming that Charlie Kirk’s free speech was sacred. We covered that circus in Trump’s New York Times lawsuit fiasco, and the pattern is crystal clear: First Amendment for me, gag order for thee.

The Bigger Picture

This all fits the pattern: intimidate the press, label critics as “enemies,” weaponize lawsuits to drain opponents, and turn comedy into contraband. It’s the authoritarian starter pack, available now with a free comb-over.

And let’s be honest: if Trump really wanted to kill late-night comedy, all he’d have to do is host it himself. Nothing ruins a joke faster than explaining it for 90 minutes.

Conclusion

Trump threatening to sue ABC over Jimmy Kimmel isn’t just ridiculous — it’s dangerous. He’s weaponizing legal threats to silence criticism and turning the simple act of telling jokes into a supposed crime.

The joke’s on him: America still laughs. And the harder he tries to ban comedy, the funnier the punchline gets.

Related Posts You’ll Love (or Hate, if You’re Trump)

If you think Trump suing ABC over Jimmy Kimmel is peak absurdity, wait until you see how far the dictatorship cosplay has gone. Check out TrumpCard.gov — his golden loyalty card to authoritarianism, proof that nothing says “freedom” like a government-issued immigration card with his face on it.

Of course, none of this works without accomplices. Just look at how ABC News showed pure cowardice by silencing the truth, caving to pressure instead of standing up for free speech. It’s the perfect backdrop for Trump’s war on comedy.

And if you’re wondering who exactly would back up this clown show, meet Trump’s Cabinet of unqualified and conflicted cronies in 2025. Spoiler: it’s less “team of rivals” and more “team of résumés written in crayon.”