Trump Wants to Ban Mail Ballots—Because Nothing Says “Democracy” Like a Dictator in Training

The Emperor Has No Ballots

Donald Trump has a new plan for the 2026 midterms: ban mail-in ballots and voting machines nationwide. Small problem—he has no legal authority to do that. Elections are run by states and local governments, not by wannabe dictators throwing executive orders around like confetti at a fascist pep rally.

But Trump’s never let the Constitution get in the way of a good authoritarian cosplay.

From Fan to Foe: Mail Voting, MAGA Edition

In 2024, Trump loved mail-in voting—because it helped him. Now, two years later, it’s “fraudulent” again, and he’s promising to burn the system down. This is like praising Uber for the ride home, then banning the company because the driver gave you four stars instead of five.

Meanwhile, the GOP spent $16 million in Pennsylvania alone convincing their own voters to use mail ballots. Trump’s response? Torch the investment. It’s like setting fire to your own campaign cash, then asking your donors to Venmo you for matches.

The 2020 Ghost That Won’t Die

All of this, of course, is rooted in the same tired lie: Trump “really won” the 2020 election. He’s basically the political version of a guy still insisting Game of Thrones had a good ending if you squint hard enough.

Recounts, audits, and 60+ court cases said otherwise. Even Bill Barr called his fraud claims “bullshit.” But Trump clings to them, because without that grievance, he’s just another twice-impeached, four-times indicted reality TV landlord.

Fox, Newsmax, and the Billion-Dollar Fairy Dust

And let’s not forget who helped Trump spread this gospel of garbage: Fox News and Newsmax.

Fox ended up paying $787.5 million to Dominion after Sean Hannity and friends gave airtime to every wacky election conspiracy. Newsmax followed with its own Smartmatic settlement in the hundreds of millions. Turns out, free speech is one thing—lying about voting machines is another, especially when the machines hire better lawyers.

So when Trump drags 2020 lies into 2026, he’s not just rehashing old material—he’s setting his media lapdogs up for another round of billion-dollar bloodletting.

International Ignorance, Domestic Damage

Trump even claims the U.S. is the only country with mail voting—apparently unaware that countries like Germany, Canada, and the U.K. exist. Geography class was clearly one of those days he skipped for golf.

But this isn’t just ignorance—it’s dangerous. Undermining mail ballots doesn’t just hurt Democrats; it suppresses Republican turnout too. It’s electoral Russian roulette, and Trump’s the guy spinning the cylinder.

Closing Roast

Trump’s war on mail ballots is the perfect blend of self-sabotage, constitutional illiteracy, and recycled 2020 conspiracy cosplay. He’s not saving democracy—he’s strangling it with a “Stop the Steal” scarf from the clearance bin.

And here’s the kicker: every time he yells “rigged,” Dominion’s lawyers probably hear cash registers. Fox News learned the hard way. Newsmax learned the hard way. The only one who hasn’t learned? Trump.