Trump Fires Jobs Chief for Telling the Truth — Employment Numbers Now Subject to Executive Approval
After a “disrespectful” July jobs report, President Trump fired the nation’s top labor statistician and replaced her with someone who “doesn’t make sad graphs.” Welcome to the Ministry of Jobaganda.
By Rob Schaublin-Yanes | GOPocalypse Now | August 1, 2025
In a bold new step toward total economic enlightenment, President Donald J. Trump has fired the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) for committing the unthinkable: reporting actual statistics.
Dr. Erika McEntarfer, the now-former Commissioner of the BLS, was escorted from her office Friday morning after releasing July’s jobs report—an outrageous, disgusting document that claimed the U.S. only added 73,000 jobs last month. Even more treasonously, the report included revisions that erased over 258,000 jobs from May and June. Can you believe the nerve?
“These numbers are totally fake,” Trump posted on Truth Social shortly after the report dropped. “73,000 jobs? WRONG! I’ve personally created over 700,000 jobs this month just by waking up. Erika’s a Biden leftover and probably a communist. YOU’RE FIRED!!! 🔥🇺🇸”
McEntarfer’s replacement, William Wiatrowski, was chosen because “he smiles when I talk,” according to White House officials.
Sources inside the administration say Trump has signed an executive order mandating that “all job numbers must reflect how I feel about myself that day.” If Trump eats two Big Macs without chest pain, expect next month’s report to show “YUGE gains across all sectors, especially golf resorts and influence-peddling.”
The New Ministry of Jobaganda
The BLS, once known for its rigorous methodology and nonpartisan integrity, will now be rebranded as the Bureau of Loyal Statistics. All data must pass a “vibe check” from Trump himself and his new economic council, consisting of:
- Ivanka Trump (Fashion Unemployment Czar)
- Dr. Oz (Chief Surgeon of Cutting Numbers)
- Kanye West (Minister of Alternative Facts)
- Eric Trump (Human Paperweight)
In an official White House statement, Press Secretary Kid Rock announced:
“From now on, the only unemployment we recognize is people refusing to clap for the President. That’s jobless behavior, and we don’t tolerate it.”
Experts Alarmed, America Shrugs
Economists across the country expressed horror, but their screams were drowned out by Trump supporters chanting “Fake Stats!” outside the Department of Labor, where they burned calculators and called for the arrest of anyone who’s ever balanced a spreadsheet.
“This is how banana republics operate,” warned Dr. Susan Hackwell of Princeton. “It’s like firing your doctor for diagnosing cancer and replacing them with a mirror.”
Trump’s team responded swiftly:
“Dr. Hackwell sounds like someone who hasn’t even been to Trump University.”
The Real Danger
The firing isn’t just a tantrum—it’s a strategic kneecapping of government transparency. If the public can’t trust federal data, they can’t hold leaders accountable. But maybe that’s the point.
Or maybe the only job Trump really cares about… is his own.
Source: AP News
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