Trump Joins the Dictator History Rewrite Club: Smithsonian Edition

The Trump Presidential Museum Makeover Project

You know America’s in trouble when the President treats history like a bad Yelp review. Donald Trump—fresh off banning facts from public schools and replacing civics with MAGA coloring books—has now set his sights on the Smithsonian, the nation’s attic of truth.

Ahead of America’s 250th birthday, Trump’s White House ordered a “review” of Smithsonian exhibits to ensure they are “unifying” and promote “American exceptionalism.” Translation: delete anything that makes Trump look bad, especially those pesky impeachments, and replace them with a heartwarming diorama of him single-handedly winning the Revolutionary War, inventing the light bulb, and discovering penicillin.

This is not about history—it’s about brand management. He doesn’t want the Smithsonian telling your kids about slavery, systemic racism, or the fact that he lost the popular vote (twice). No, no. The only history that matters is Trump’s History™, and in Trump’s History™ he’s always the hero, always the victim, and always, always the centerfold.

Welcome to the Dictator History Rewrite Club

If this sounds familiar, it’s because Trump is auditioning for the world’s most exclusive authoritarian society: the Dictator History Rewrite Club. Here are some of the founding members:

• Joseph Stalin — Edited enemies out of photographs like bad Tinder matches, rewrote textbooks to make himself look like Lenin’s favorite nephew.
• Saparmurat Niyazov — Dictator of Turkmenistan who renamed months after himself and made his ghostwritten self-help book Ruhnama required reading—even for driving tests.
• Ferdinand Marcos — Commissioned heroic history books that cast him as the nation’s savior while looting the treasury like it was a Black Friday sale.
• Saddam Hussein — Rewrote his own childhood to sound like a divine prophecy, instead of, you know, Saddam Hussein’s actual childhood.

And now? Donald Trump — Wants the Smithsonian to replace nuanced history with MAGA-approved fairy tales and crop his impeachments out of the timeline like they were just unfortunate spinach in his teeth.

The Museum of MAGA History (Opening Soon)

Picture it: the Museum of American Greatness, Sponsored by Trump™. The Lincoln Memorial replaced with a marble statue of Trump in golf attire. The Civil Rights exhibit reimagined as “That Time Trump Ended Racism By Hiring Ben Carson.” The Vietnam War gallery replaced with “How Trump Bravely Avoided Bone Spurs.”

The National Museum of African American History? Gone—replaced with the National Museum of Trump’s Electoral Wins (real and imaginary). The Women’s History Museum? Downsized to a kiosk featuring Ivanka’s shoe collection.

The Authoritarian Playbook in Real Time

Here’s the dangerous part: history isn’t just a record—it’s a weapon. Every authoritarian worth their salt knows you can’t control the future unless you control the past. By scrubbing inconvenient truths from the nation’s memory, Trump isn’t just polishing his image—he’s rewriting America’s story so that dissent, protest, and accountability become foreign concepts.

And it’s not just museums. Trump’s presidency has been one of the least documented in modern U.S. history. With auto-deleting messages, missing visitor logs, and classified documents stuffed into Mar-a-Lago closets, we’re looking at a man determined to leave behind nothing but his own narrative. Think George Orwell’s 1984, but with more bronzer and cheeseburgers.

Final Exhibit: Democracy on Life Support

Trump’s Smithsonian stunt is just the latest symptom of a much bigger disease. This isn’t about making America “unified.” It’s about making America forget. And if we forget—if we allow the past to be painted over with gold spray paint and sold as “MAGA Truth”—then we’ve handed over our democracy without even realizing it.

So the next time you walk through a museum and see a wax statue of Trump shaking hands with George Washington, remember: the Dictator History Rewrite Club doesn’t give you history. It gives you propaganda with gift shop merch.