Trump’s Bold New Workplace Safety Plan: “Just Don’t Get Hurt, Losers”
Because regulations are for snowflakes, and workers should know how to dodge a combine harvester by instinct.
Remember when Republicans used to pretend they cared about the working class? Yeah, that was adorable. Now, under Donald Trump’s second coming of the apocalypse-in-waiting, even that illusion is gone. The new plan? Deregulate everything. Especially if it helps corporations profit while workers fall off unlit scaffolding into open trenches.
According to a new AP investigation, Trump’s Labor Department has been quietly—and aggressively—slashing rules meant to protect the people actually doing the work in this country.
Let’s break down the highlights of Trump’s “Let’s Bring Back the Gilded Age” agenda:
Rule #1: You Don’t Need a Seatbelt If You’re Poor
The Trump Labor Department is pushing to eliminate the rule requiring seat belts on tractors for migrant farmworkers.
Why?
Because apparently, it’s too much of a burden for employers to keep workers alive.
Instead of protecting workers from being flung off a moving tractor like it’s a mechanical bull at a Republican fundraiser, Trump’s plan is to simply call it freedom. If the worker wants a seatbelt, let them bring their own—like it's a BYOB potluck, but for spine injuries.
Rule #2: Lighting Is Woke
Trump’s DOL is also planning to scrap rules requiring adequate lighting on construction sites.
Because what’s more American than building in the dark? Nothing says “freedom” like falling into a cement mixer because your boss decided light bulbs were “government overreach.”
Plus, darkness is metaphorical—it hides the guilt when workers are maimed on the job. And according to Trump’s labor logic, if you can’t see the problem, it doesn’t exist. Just like climate change, systemic racism, or Trump’s loan repayments.
Rule #3: Home Care Workers? More Like Home Prisoners.
One of the nastiest cuts targets home health aides, many of whom are immigrant women of color. Under Trump’s rules, employers could go back to paying them below minimum wage and denying overtime.
You know, because caring for your elderly grandma with dementia isn’t real work—it’s just glorified babysitting. Why pay fairly when you can exploit people under the soothing blanket of deregulation?
Fun fact: These workers—already earning poverty wages—were finally granted basic protections under Obama. And now, Trump’s undoing it like he’s trying to rewrite the entire 20th century, one exploitation at a time.
Rule #4: Dangerous Jobs? That’s Just the Vibe Now
The Trump administration wants to expand the list of jobs considered “inherently dangerous”—meaning OSHA doesn’t have to step in unless a worker is literally decapitated mid-shift.
Under this “let them bleed” doctrine, if you're a miner inhaling toxic dust, or a construction worker suspended by dental floss over an active freeway, OSHA’s response is basically: “Well, you signed up for it.”
This is the regulatory equivalent of telling firefighters they knew what they were getting into when the building exploded—so why bother with fireproof suits?
Deregulation Nation: Where “Free Market” Means Workers Pay With Their Lives
The AP notes that over 60 worker-protection rollbacks are on the chopping block. Trump’s Labor Secretary, Lori Chavez-DeRemer (who once confused “Department of Labor” with “Department of Landlord”), called this deregulatory spree “one of the most ambitious” in history.
Translation: We found 60 ways to let companies exploit labor harder, faster, and cheaper—without anyone getting sued.
Trump isn’t just cutting red tape—he’s replacing it with crime scene tape.
Final Thoughts: Who Needs Safety When You Have MAGA?
Trump’s platform is clear: Workers are expendable. Corporations are sacred. If you’re injured, tough luck. If you’re underpaid, be grateful. If you die on the job, well… at least we didn’t have to fill out paperwork.
This isn’t deregulation—it’s dehumanization dressed up in a cheap Made-in-China MAGA hat.
Don’t be surprised if OSHA is replaced with a rubber stamp that says “Walk it off.” Because in Trump’s America, “safety” is socialism, “wages” are optional, and “dignity” is a word he thinks means “something related to lunch.”
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