Trump Declares War on Low Crime: D.C. Gets the National Guard Whether It Likes It or Not

By GOPocalypse Now

Donald Trump has done it again. No, not bankrupting another casino or calling NATO “the worst subscription service ever”—this time, he’s decided that D.C.’s crime rates are too low for his liking. And because reality is optional in MAGA-land, he’s rolled in the National Guard and taken control of the city’s police.

Officials say violent crime is down 26% this year, but Trump clearly prefers his cities the way he prefers his steaks: overdone, a little bloody, and served with a side of chaos. (AP)

“Emergency” in the Same Way Diet Coke Is a Vegetable

Let’s talk legality. The Home Rule Act allows presidential intervention in D.C.—but only if there’s an actual crisis. You know, like riots, war, or Congress passing bipartisan legislation (which, frankly, would be shocking enough to qualify).

What we have here instead is the presidential equivalent of a bored cat knocking things off the counter just to see what happens. Only the “things” are civil liberties.

Constitutional Law? More Like Constitutional “LOL”

Remember when the Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution to prevent one man from running the country like his personal timeshare? Yeah, apparently Trump missed that episode of Schoolhouse Rock!

Checks and balances are supposed to stop exactly this kind of stunt. Instead, we’re getting a live demo of what happens when someone in the Oval Office decides the rules are more of a “guideline” than a requirement.

From President to Pretend Emperor

There’s a fine line between “strong leader” and “guy trying on dictator cosplay in front of the mirror.” Trump’s been blurring that line for years, but this? This is full-blown MAGA Monarchy.

We’re talking:

• Stage 1: “I alone can fix it.”
• Stage 2: “I alone can break it.”
• Stage 3: “I alone can fix what I alone broke.”

It’s less Washington D.C., more Washington Dystopia.

But Wait—There’s Theatrics!

You can practically see the made-for-TV shots: National Guard Humvees parked outside Ben’s Chili Bowl, Trump standing in front of the Lincoln Memorial pretending to be taller than Abe, and a press conference where he announces the city is now “Trumpington D.C.”

Bonus points if he throws in a rally where he claims the Washington Monument was named after him.

Why It Matters (Even If You Don’t Live There)

If a president can just take over a city without cause, what’s stopping him from sending troops to your town because he doesn’t like the way you painted your mailbox?

This is how authoritarianism works—it doesn’t show up all at once in full jackboots. It slips in wearing a flag pin, promising “safety,” and before you know it, your mayor’s being replaced with a Trump family member who thinks zoning laws are communist.

The Bottom Line:
Trump’s D.C. stunt isn’t about protecting people. It’s about flexing power, ignoring laws, and testing just how far he can push before someone says “stop.”

The Constitution is supposed to protect us from a president who thinks he’s king. Unfortunately, that only works if the president has read it—and we all know Trump’s not cracking open anything without pictures.