Trump’s $170 Billion Deportation Binge: DHS Gets a Blank Check and a Free Pass

Well, it’s official: Congress just handed Donald Trump’s Department of Homeland Security a $170 billion budget to supercharge the largest mass deportation campaign in modern U.S. history—because apparently “fiscal responsibility” now means “write the check first, ask questions never.”

This was all wrapped in the One Big Beautiful Bill™—a spending package so large it made DHS’s normal budget look like a sad grocery store coupon. Nearly double the annual operating funds, delivered with all the urgency of an infomercial pitch: “But wait, there’s more! Act now and we’ll throw in unlimited transfers from FEMA at no extra cost!”

Raiding the Couch Cushions

The Trump team wasted no time shuffling money around like a Vegas card dealer. Up to a billion dollars quietly slid over from other programs—including FEMA, because who needs disaster relief when you’ve got immigrants to chase? All this, with zero congressional approval. It’s called “creative accounting” when corporations do it and “a federal crime” when you do it, but apparently it’s just “Tuesday” when DHS does it.

Congress Tries to Look Concerned

Senator Chris Murphy (D-CT) actually had the audacity to ask where the money was going, telling DHS their “agency is out of control.” DHS Secretary Kristi Noem, in full Stepford mode, assured everyone, “I always live within my budget,”which is an interesting claim for someone building military-base detention camps and offering $50,000 hiring bonuses to ICE agents. If that’s “living within your budget,” I guess I’m a billionaire every time I pay off one credit card with another.

Dear DHS, WTF?

A few House Republicans—Rep. Andrew Garbarino (R-NY) and Rep. Michael Guest (R-MS)—did manage to pen a politely passive-aggressive letter asking DHS to please, kindly, explain how they’re going to spend $170 billion by August 22. DHS responded that they’re in “daily discussions” and “honoring all briefing requests,” which is code for “we’ll get back to you after we finish bulldozing the parking lot for the new detention wing.”

From the Border to Your Backyard

Trump’s deportation squads aren’t just hanging out near the border anymore. Nope—thanks to this “whole-of-government” approach, they’re hitting job sites, neighborhoods, and possibly your local Starbucks. Imagine ordering a latte and having to show your birth certificate at the pick-up counter.

Public Opinion: Plot Twist

Here’s the funny part: while Trump is throwing money at ICE like it’s a bachelorette party in Vegas, the American public is actually feeling more positive about immigration. Gallup says 79% now think immigration is a good thing, up from 64% earlier this year. Trump’s approval rating on immigration? Down to 43%. Turns out, nothing makes people root for immigrants more than watching the government try to expel them with a military budget.

Final Sip of Tea

So to recap: Congress gave Trump’s DHS a war chest of $170 billion—almost double their budget—without demanding any real oversight. DHS is already moving money around like they’re trying to make rent, building detention camps, and planning raids everywhere from Fort Bliss to the frozen aisle at Walmart. And yet, public support for immigration is climbing.

It’s almost poetic—if your poetry is written in the style of a government audit with a laugh track.