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Satire

Trader Joe’s and Smucker’s Face Off in Historic “Uncrustables Justice” Lawsuit: America’s PB&J Civil War Begins

Trader Joe’s and Smucker’s Face Off in Historic “Uncrustables Justice” Lawsuit: America’s PB&J Civil War Begins

America’s dumbest food fight just hit the courtroom. Smucker’s is suing Trader Joe’s for sandwich plagiarism, proving that in late-stage capitalism, even peanut butter and jelly needs a lawyer.

Surreal satirical collage showing Republican politicians panicking around a golden crown as protesters behind them hold “No Kings” signs, symbolizing fear of democracy versus monarchy.

The Royal Panic Party: Why the GOP Is Terrified of No Kings Day

Republicans are calling peaceful No Kings Day protests “terrorism.” We call that fear. The GOPocalypse Now staff will be there with our signs from VistaPrint, not Soros.

Satirical image of Donald Trump accepting a fake Nobel Peace Prize while chaos unfolds behind him, symbolizing irony and hypocrisy in global politics.

Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize? Sure, Right After He Wins the Science Fair for Bleach Injections

Speaker Mike Johnson wants Trump to win the Nobel Peace Prize for “advancing peace.” Because nothing says harmony like inciting riots, cozying up to dictators, and suing democracy for defamation.

Close-up of the U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment with the words “Congress shall make no law,” symbolizing free speech debates over Trump lawsuit and GOP censorship.

Trump Sues the New York Times While the GOP Polices Your Tweets: The First Amendment Is on Life Support

Donald Trump is suing the New York Times for $15 billion while Republicans demand people be fired over Charlie Kirk jokes. Free speech? More like fee speech.

Trumpocalypse Morning Roast: Stone Crab Authoritarianism, Epstein’s Birthday Note & Trump’s Global Tantrums

Trumpocalypse Morning Roast: Stone Crab Authoritarianism, Epstein’s Birthday Note & Trump’s Global Tantrums

Trump brags about 2,200 D.C. arrests over stone crab claws, denies writing Epstein’s creepy birthday note, freezes $5B in foreign aid, and pisses off allies. Plus, NATO scrambles jets as the world watches America’s chaos breakfast unfold.

“Happy Birthday, Jeffrey — And May Every Day Be Another Wonderful Secret”: Trump’s Worst Greeting Card Ever

“Happy Birthday, Jeffrey — And May Every Day Be Another Wonderful Secret”: Trump’s Worst Greeting Card Ever

House Democrats released a page from Epstein’s 2003 “birthday book” featuring a cheeky note allegedly signed “Donald.” Trump denies it’s his and sued over coverage. We unpack the receipts—and roast the “wonderful secret” line into charcoal.

Cartoon viruses waving next to a ‘Welcome to Florida’ sign, symbolizing Ron DeSantis ending childhood vaccine mandates.

Florida Bans Childhood Vaccines: DeSantis Invites Polio, Measles, and Mumps Back to the Sunshine State

Ron DeSantis just made Florida the first state to scrap all childhood vaccine mandates. Forget science—say hello to measles yearbook photos, polio football games, and chickenpox ragers. Florida: where herd immunity dies and herd stupidity thrives.