Plungers, Pride, and Pretzels: A Nation Debates Who's Allowed to Fix the Sink Apparently America can’t handle a gay electrician or a queer Harvard grad. But what if the future is both fabulous and functional?
Texas Secedes, Instantly Declares Bankruptcy, Blames Drag Queens Texas finally seceded—and immediately faceplanted into bankruptcy, blackout, and barbecue-based economics. With Lone Bucks in flames and Whataburger as its national bank, the Republic of Texit is blaming drag queens for the chaos. Yes, really.
America's Most Wanted (Prescription): The Pharma Avengers Assemble Who needs a political party when you’ve got a pharmacological personality? Meet the all-American cabinet of controlled chaos.
RFK Jr. Launches ‘Make America Healthy Again’ — Now with 100% More Raw Milk and AI-Generated Science! RFK Jr. launches “Make America Healthy Again” with raw milk, AI-generated science, and wellness vibes strong enough to make your third eye twitch. A satirical look at the campaign redefining public health—one barefoot probiotic at a time.
“Operation Mad Libs”: Homeland Security’s Bold New Plan to Guess Crime Like It’s a Party Game In this satirical take, DHS launches “Operation Mad Libs” and arrests a man over a letter he couldn’t have written—while Secretary Kristi Noem investigates on horseback with a mailbag and a pen from Staples. Yes, really. Sort of. Not at all. It’s satire.
The One Big Beautiful Bill: A Masterpiece of Fiscal Fabulism In a legislative tour de force that has left economists clutching their calculators and fact-checkers weeping into their spreadsheets, the House of Representatives has narrowly passed the "One Big Beautiful Bill Act" (OBBBA). This sweeping legislation, touted as a panacea for all that ails the nation, promises tax
Trump Sues '60 Minutes' for $20 Billion, Demands Emotional Damages and a Participation Trophy Donald Trump sues 60 Minutes for $20 billion, claiming emotional distress and demanding a participation trophy. Because if he's not in the interview, it’s clearly defamation.