Straight Outta Ideas: Boise’s ‘Hetero Awesome Fest’ Flops Harder Than a Dad Joke at Pride

By Bob Robertson, GOPocalypse-Now.com

If you were anywhere near Boise’s Cecil D. Andrus Park on June 20 or 21, 2025, you may have noticed an unusually quiet commemoration of “traditional values.” No, it wasn’t a spontaneous potato vigil or an insurance convention—it was Hetero Awesome Fest, the nation’s most tepid attempt to make heterosexuality feel like an underdog story.

The Setup: Less Festival, More Facebook Rant Come to Life

Organized by Mark Fitzpatrick, owner of the Old State Saloon in Eagle and self-proclaimed Defender of Heterosexual Heritage™, the two-day event promised music, family fun, and America—all wrapped in the comforting blanket of vague cultural panic.

Billing itself as a “celebration of faith, family, and freedom,” Hetero Awesome Fest appeared to be the result of asking ChatGPT to plan an event based solely on Fox News comment sections. With posts accusing the LGBTQ+ community of pushing a “wicked agenda,” it was less “wholesome fairground vibes” and more “awkward uncle corner at Thanksgiving.”

The Crowd: Light. Like, Really Light.

While Pride events around Boise were bustling with energy and glitter, Andrus Park was… not. Local media generously described turnout as “dozens.” Some attendees may have wandered in looking for kettle corn, only to discover the musical headliner was shouting about God's favorite gender identity.

The entire event could have comfortably fit inside a Chick-fil-A dining room.

The Plot Twist: Pro-Trans Mic Drop

Because reality is satire now, the weekend’s only real viral moment came from musician Daniel Hamrick, who performed a song in support of trans rights before having his mic cut by organizers. The crowd—small but deeply confused—got more action in those 90 seconds than the rest of the weekend combined.

Hamrick later said he was invited without being told the nature of the event. Fitzpatrick, in response, did not clarify, but somewhere, a Fox News producer likely whispered, “This is gold.”

The Real Show: "But, What About Straight Pride?"

Across town, the LGBTQ+ community responded not with protest signs, but with a sold-out drag show called “But, What About Straight Pride?” at The Balcony Club.

It was, by all accounts, everything Hetero Awesome Fest was not: self-aware, funny, well-attended, and willing to let people enjoy themselves without a sermon about chromosomes.

The Aftermath: One Man’s Vision, Boise’s Cringe

Local media didn’t hold back. One commentator noted the event “probably could’ve been an email,” and online critics mocked everything from the name to the vibe to the sheer audacity of claiming heterosexuals need a parade because they feel left out during June.

Boise, once known for its potatoes, is now becoming known for something else: not tolerating lazy bigotry dressed up as patriotism. And frankly, that’s more awesome than anything Fitzpatrick had on his stage.

🧠 Final Thoughts:

What did we learn?

• You can’t out-festival Pride Month by booking a band and yelling at clouds.
• Boise has moved on. Maybe the rest of the country should catch up.
• And next time you’re going to throw a party for straight people, maybe don’t start by attacking gay ones. Just serve brats and let people grill.

Coming soon:
“Straight Guy Summer: Why BBQ Tongs Aren’t a Civil Rights Movement”

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