Louisiana Declares War… on Empty Walls
When lawmakers can’t fix education, they fix the décor. Louisiana’s brilliant new plan? Replace critical thinking with biblical calligraphy. What could go wrong?
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BREAKING: Trump Crowned “Asshole of the Century” by American Proctologists
At this year’s annual proctology convention, Donald Trump was named “Asshole of the Century” and awarded the prestigious Golden Anus Trophy. Experts say the decision was unanimous and “deeply diagnostic.”
BARK THE WALL: U.S. Border Patrol Begins Deporting Mexican Dogs in Latest Immigration Crackdown
DHS launches Operation PAWtriot Act to deport dogs that “bark in Spanish.” Satire so absurd, it might just sniff the truth.
“President Trump Declares War on Holidays: Juneteenth ‘Too Expensive,’ Suggests Americans Celebrate Emancipation While Working Overtime”
On Juneteenth, President Trump slammed “too many non-working holidays” and floated cutting them to boost productivity. Because nothing honors emancipation like demanding overtime.
Trump Severs Lifeline to LGBTQ Youth—This Isn’t Policy, It’s Cruelty
The Trump administration just cut ties with 988’s LGBTQ suicide hotline option. This isn’t about budget or bureaucracy. It’s about erasing lives.
BREAKING: Senate GOP Launches Investigation Into Biden’s Age… Even Though He’s Not the President Anymore
With Trump back in the White House, Republicans are still hard at work… yelling at a retired Biden about being old. Because why deal with reality when you can investigate Medicare recipients?
TRUMP TEASES WORLD WAR III LIKE IT'S A SEASON FINALE
Trump teases war like it’s a season finale, MAGA melts down in real time, and a flagpole rises as America’s foreign policy crumbles into chaos, delusion, and heavy machinery.