Free George Santos! Says MTG, Who’s Apparently Now the Patron Saint of Felons
Marjorie Taylor Greene wants George Santos pardoned, calling his 7-year sentence a “grave injustice.” Because in MAGA-land, crime is only bad if you’re poor, brown, or vote blue. Fraud? That’s just Republican flair.
Republicans Believe in Law and Order—Just Not for Themselves
Published on: August 5, 2025
By: Rob Schaublin-Yanes, Senior Correspondent for GOP Hypocrisy
“He’s Suffered Enough,” Says Congresswoman Who Thinks Wearing a Mask Is Tyranny but Fraud Is Freedom
Well folks, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is back in the news, and as always, she’s wielding logic like it’s a salad fork at a steakhouse—completely useless and wildly out of place.
Her latest crusade? Demanding that Donald Trump commute the prison sentence of disgraced ex-Rep. George Santos, the walking LinkedIn scam who somehow conned his way into Congress and out of reality.
Yes, Santos—the guy who lied about everything from where he worked to whether his mom died in 9/11 (she didn’t) to being Jewish (he’s “Jew-ish,” like your racist uncle at Passover). That guy. He’s serving 87 months for wire fraud, identity theft, and just generally being the Dollar Store version of Frank Abagnale Jr. And Greene thinks that’s too harsh.
“It’s a grave injustice,” she said with the conviction of someone who thinks a Roth IRA is a Jewish conspiracy.
Meanwhile, In the Bizarro World That Is MAGA Logic…
Let’s get this straight:
- Steal a sandwich while homeless? Jail.
- Use fake campaign donors, steal unemployment benefits, and lie to Congress? According to Greene: “He’s just misunderstood.”
It’s almost like Republicans want a justice system where the only crime is not being a Republican.
The “Everyone Else Does It” Defense, Brought to You By Kindergarten Logic
Greene’s letter claims that Santos’s punishment is unfair because other members of Congress have “done worse.” And if that argument sounds familiar, that’s because it’s the same excuse your 5-year-old used when caught with Sharpie on the walls:
“But Billy drew on the dog!”
Except in this case, “Billy” is a hypothetical Democrat and “drawing on the dog” is apparently not a federal crime. Who knew?
Accountability? That’s for Poor People
The GOP platform has officially devolved into:
- Tax cuts for billionaires
- Bible verses selectively quoted for fascism
- And pardons for pals who got caught.
They love “law and order” until one of their own is dragged out of Mar-a-Lago in cuffs, at which point it’s suddenly “political persecution” and “time to defund the FBI.”
You know who didn’t get a letter of clemency?
The single mom who got 3 years for voting while on parole. But George “Grifter” Santos? He gets a Hallmark card from MTG.
Trump’s Role: The Felon Fairy Godmother
Let’s not pretend Greene wrote this for the DOJ. She wrote it for Trump, the Pardon Daddy himself.
At this point, Trump could host a reality show called America’s Next Top Convict—and Greene would be backstage, throwing glitter on the finalists.
“You get a pardon! And YOU get a pardon! And YOU get an indictment! Wait… that’s a Democrat? Never mind.”
Final Thought: If This Is the Bar, We Should All Be Running Ponzi Schemes
If George Santos is the victim in this scenario, then Bernie Madoff should have gotten community service at a WeWork.
This isn’t about justice. It’s about power, immunity, and the perverse Republican fantasy of a world where consequences are optional—at least for them.
And as long as Trump and his disciples are in charge, the real crime is believing the rules apply equally to everyone.
Source: AP News
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