MAGA Meltdown: Bannon Wants Elon Deported After Epstein Bombshell
By Bob Robertson, National Satire Correspondent (Now Considering Asylum on the Moon)
The Trump–Musk feud has officially gone nuclear—and MAGA’s most frothing lieutenant, Steve Bannon, is calling for billionaire Elon Musk to be deported from the United States.
Yes, deported. Because nothing screams “free speech” like throwing someone out of the country for tweeting a little too hard.
This all comes after Musk, already engaged in an orbital-level beef with Trump over government contracts and budget stupidity, tweeted:
“Time to drop the really big bomb: @realDonaldTrump is in the Epstein files. That is the real reason they have not been made public. Have a nice day, DJT!”
And just like that, the feud went from "awkward billionaire slap fight" to "straight-to-HBO docuseries."
💣 Bannon: Deport, Investigate, Cancel, Repeat
Within hours, Steve Bannon—a man who looks like a dehydrated Civil War general—told The New York Times:
“They should initiate a formal investigation of his immigration status... I am of the strong belief that he is an illegal alien, and he should be deported from the country immediately.”
That’s right. Elon Musk, the world’s richest troll, is now being accused of being an illegal alien—not in the Area 51 sense, but in the “we hate immigrants now more than usual” sense.
But Bannon didn’t stop there. Oh no.
He also demanded:
- An investigation into Musk’s alleged drug use
- A probe into his attempt to get a classified China briefing from the Pentagon
- The cancellation of his lucrative government contracts
- And the suspension of his security clearance, presumably just to watch him tweet about it in real time
In other words, he wants to hit Elon with the full fascist buffet.
🚀 How Did We Get Here?
Rewind 24 hours. Musk was already publicly torching Trump’s budget bill, calling it a:
“Disgusting abomination.”
The bill, let’s be clear, is a flaming garbage pile of cruelty and corruption. According to the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office:
- Nearly 11 million Americans will lose health insurance
- The Pentagon gets inflated to over $1 trillion
- There’s a $3.7 trillion tax cut for the ultra-rich
- And it still somehow adds $2.4 trillion to the deficit
But sure, Elon’s the problem.
After Musk threatened to decommission the Dragon spacecraft, a move that would leave astronauts stranded on the ISS like forgotten Uber passengers, Trump retaliated by vowing to slash subsidies and contracts to SpaceX and Tesla.
Then came the Epstein nuke. And now? Bannon’s frothing on command.
🐍 Trump’s MAGA Machine Turns on Its Favorite Tech Troll
It’s almost poetic. Musk helped platform Trump, boosted his reach, and did everything short of installing Truth Social in every Tesla dashboard.
And now? He’s getting the full authoritarian breakup package:
- Personal threats
- Baseless immigration smears
- Drug accusations
- National security paranoia
- And a public “go back to your country” closer
If this isn’t peak MAGA loyalty, what is?
💡 Final Thought: Billionaires Eat Billionaires, and We Still Get the Bill
Let’s be real: none of these people are heroes. One’s a fascist ex-president, the other is a chaos-drunk techno-king with a God complex.
But while they’re flinging nukes at each other on social media, here’s what Trump’s budget is actually doing:
- Gutting healthcare
- Expanding war spending
- Showering tax cuts on the ultra-rich
- And endangering democracy while they’re at it
So yes, let them eat each other alive.
But don’t lose sight of the real bomb:
The “big, beautiful bill” is a scorched-earth manifesto, and we’re the ones getting burned.
🖋️ Subscribe for More Chaos, Truth, and Laughs
If you're enjoying this front-row seat to the Billionaire Bloodbath of the Century, stick around. The tweets are getting darker, the stakes are getting higher, and someone’s definitely calling their lawyer.
Member discussion