America First, Democracy Last: Oklahoma’s Teacher Test Is Project 2025 in a MAGA Hat

Oklahoma just took a bold leap into theocracy cosplay, and naturally, it comes wrapped in the stars and stripes—with a side of Bible study and PragerU propaganda. In case you missed it, out-of-state teachers moving to Oklahoma from so-called “woke” blue states will now have to pass an “America First” certification test to prove they’re ideologically pure enough to enter the classroom. Because nothing says “land of the free” like a loyalty exam.

The test was designed in part by PragerU—you know, the YouTube channel that thinks slavery wasn’t that bad and that climate change is just God turning up the thermostat. This isn’t just a quirky policy from a state superintendent trying to out-DeSantis DeSantis. It’s a warning shot from the frontlines of the authoritarian playbook known as Project 2025.

They’re Not Even Pretending Anymore

At least in the past they tried to hide it behind euphemisms like “school choice” or “parental rights.” But now? They’re coming right out and saying the quiet part loud: If you’re not a red-blooded, God-fearing, biology-only, patriot-robot, you have no business teaching children.

Let’s call this what it is: a partisan purity test. A MAGA-version of the SAT—except you fail if you can define “systemic racism,” believe in evolution, or use the word “gender” without gagging.

This isn’t about education. It’s about indoctrination with a flag pin.

Project 2025: The Christian Nationalist Cheat Code

If you haven’t read the Heritage Foundation’s 900-page dystopian fanfic titled Project 2025, congratulations on still sleeping at night. The plan is simple: fire everyone who isn’t a Trump loyalist, demolish departments that don’t push conservative dogma, and turn America into a funhouse mirror version of The Handmaid’s Tale, only with fewer vowels and more guns.

Education is at the top of the hit list. The plan? Kill the Department of Education, ban “wokeness” (read: truth), and replace public schools with religious indoctrination centers sponsored by Duck Dynasty.

Oklahoma’s “America First” test is just the beta version—the soft launch of a future where teachers must swear fealty to a flag-draped Bible before they’re allowed to talk about the Civil Rights Movement.

Freedom of Religion… for Just One Religion

Superintendent Ryan Walters—MAGA’s favorite substitute teacher cosplayer—has also ordered that Bibles be placed in every public school classroom, created a “Department of Religious Freedom and Patriotism” (aka the Ministry of Jesus and Vibes), and done everything short of replacing recess with a sermon.

And let’s be clear: this isn’t about “religious freedom.” This is about Christian nationalism, where freedom only applies if you’re quoting the right scriptures and voting for the right savior (spoiler: it's not Jesus—it’s Trump).

This is what happens when religion stops being personal and starts being weaponized.

Can You Pass the Test?

Just imagine the questions on this exam:

🧠 “Who is the true father of our nation?”
A) George Washington
B) Jesus Christ
C) Donald Trump
D) All of the above
(Correct answer: D, obviously.)

📘 “Which book should be in every classroom?”
A) The Bible
B) The Constitution
C) PragerU’s Guide to Patriotism for Dummies
D) All of the above
(Again, D—this is a trick test, remember?)

This is North Korea-level education policy but with Chick-fil-A catering.

When Teachers Become Political Hostages

Oklahoma already has trouble keeping teachers—because of things like, I don’t know, poverty wages and classrooms stuffed with 35 kids. So what’s the brilliant solution? Make it harder for teachers to get jobs unless they pass a culture war gauntlet.

This isn’t a teacher shortage fix. It’s a teacher purge. And it sets the stage for Project 2025’s dream scenario: an education system run by ideologues, not educators.

It’s not about what children learn. It’s about who gets to do the teaching—and whether they’ll tell the truth or stick to the script.

Don’t Look Away—This Is the New Normal (If We Let It Be)

Oklahoma’s “America First” test isn’t some fringe idea cooked up in a Facebook group. It’s the pilot episode for a full series of policies aimed at turning classrooms into pulpits, history into propaganda, and children into culture war cannon fodder.

If you think this ends in Oklahoma, think again. Project 2025 is ready to take this national. The goal is to turn every red state into a laboratory for authoritarian policy and every blue state into an enemy of the people.

They’re not just rewriting curriculum. They’re rewriting the country.

Final Exam: Will You Fight Back or Flunk Democracy?

We’ve reached the part of the culture war where you can be fired—or never hired—for thinking critically, valuing diversity, or teaching actual facts. If that sounds like freedom to you, I have a “1776” T-shirt and a lobotomy kit to sell you.

Oklahoma’s education policies are a test. But not just for teachers—for all of us.

The question is: Will we pass it? Or will we fail our kids, our democracy, and our future—because we didn’t speak up while there was still time?

Want More Dystopia with a Side of Scripture?

If this taste of Christian Nationalist cosplay wasn’t enough to ruin your lunch, don’t worry—we’ve got a whole Project 2025 playlist queued up for your outrage consumption. Grab a snack, clutch your Constitution, and keep going:

👉 Project 2025: Trump’s Christian Nationalist Wet Dream
Start here if you want the full blueprint of how Trump, the Heritage Foundation, and the holier-than-thou crowd plan to turn democracy into a Sunday sermon with executive orders.

👉 The Handmaid’s Tale Wasn’t Meant to Be an Instruction Manual
Because Project 2025 is out here speedrunning Gilead—and they brought Bibles and budget cuts.

👉 Trump, Evangelicals, and the Theocracy You Didn’t Ask For
Spoiler: Jesus isn’t the one running for President, but someone sure thinks he should be Vice.

📌 Don’t just scroll—rage-read your way through the warning signs. Because what’s happening in Oklahoma is only the trailer. The full movie is coming in 2025, and it doesn’t have a happy ending.