🚇 All Aboard the Ego Express: Republicans Want to Rename D.C. Metro the "Trump Train"

By Rob Robertson
GOPocalypse Now

Washington, D.C. — where gridlock isn’t just a traffic condition, it’s a governing philosophy. And now, thanks to Florida Congressman Greg Steube, America’s political circus just added another clown car to the parade.

In what can only be described as the legislative equivalent of spray-painting your high school crush’s name on an overpass, Steube has introduced the brilliantly idiotic "Make Autorail Great Again Act" — yes, MAGA for short. Subtlety is dead.

According to Fox News, the bill proposes withholding $150 million in annual federal funding from D.C.'s public transit system unless the Metro agrees to rename itself the Washington Metropolitan Authority for Greater Access (WMAGA) — because apparently acronyms are where we’re focusing taxpayer dollars these days — and rebrand its entire train system as The Trump Train.

Fix The Tracks? Nah. Rename The System.

Rather than propose actual improvements to a system that serves hundreds of thousands of people daily, Rep. Steube decided that the best way to help commuters was to turn their morning ride into a rolling Trump campaign ad. Apparently, when your party’s entire platform is just “worship the dear leader”, even subway signage becomes a loyalty test.

Never mind that Metro’s problems are mostly due to decades of underfunding, deferred maintenance, and political squabbling. No, what this system really needs is an involuntary tribute to the man who made Sharpies on hurricane mapsa thing.

Next Stop: Peak Cult Behavior

This bill isn’t about transit, safety, or economics. It’s the latest chapter in the GOP’s ongoing competition to see who can most creatively kiss the ring. Today it's the Metro. Tomorrow we’ll be renaming the Washington Monument the "Trump Tower National Obelisk" and Mount Rushmore will get a very tasteful fifth face added (gold-plated, naturally).

A New Low in Political Performance Art

Let’s be clear: this bill has virtually no chance of becoming law. Metro’s management isn’t under congressional authority. But that’s not the point. The point is to generate headlines, feed the base, and remind the world that no public institution is safe from being turned into a billboard for Trump’s brand.

Instead of solving real problems, today’s GOP excels at creating solutions to problems that don’t exist — unless, of course, your problem is that your daily commute doesn’t yet include mandatory Trump worship.

The Ultimate Irony

The same party that spent decades screaming about big government overreach is now trying to federally mandate the rebranding of a city’s transit system for pure political vanity.

The hypocrisy, like the fare increases, is absolutely breathtaking.

Final Boarding Call

Ladies and gentlemen, please step away from the platform edge. The Trump Train™ is now arriving — 47 minutes late, wildly off-track, and completely empty, except for Greg Steube’s ego.

Welcome to the WMAGA era. Where every ride is compulsory, and the only acceptable destination is Mar-a-Lago Station.

Enjoy the ride, America.

Source: Fox News - Florida congressman wants to rename DC transit “Trump Train”